Does it seem to you like “conversation” is a one-way street more and more?
There’s power and connection in deep listening that changes everything.
Here’s something I ponder when I find myself observing one of those conversations where almost no one is actually listening to the other:
What would a world look like where everyone listened to understand rather than listened to get ready to make their next point?
Think about that for a moment. There is a very important distinction. In fact, we almost never see people leaning into conversation anymore; nodding, asking questions, acting like they are truly taking in and processing what is being said.
Instead, we see everyone interrupting, talking over the top of each other, arguing their next point as if the last person didn’t even say anything.
And then I came across the TED Talk we are pointing you to today. Julian Treasure is a renown adviser to global businesses on how to use sound. Who better to ask us to pause and think about what we sound like, and point to all we can gain from becoming astute listeners!?
This is one of those 7-minute talks that leaves you a little transformed forever. I discovered that I too had become part of the “listening to make my next point” group. What about you?
Turns out the real winners are us when we learn to be the best listener in the room!
Great stuff there!
I watched that talk just before going to a big fund-raising event several years ago and it changed everything. I had so much more fun listening carefully.
I used his little acronym—RASA—and I reconnected, so much more authentically, with people I hadn’t seen in years. In fact, I went on to work with two people on different new projects that were great fun and great for our community.
If I hadn’t been actively listening for the quiet, the subtle and the understated, I would have missed out on both those opportunities and so much more that day.
Try it next time you are in a big group function, or even at a family picnic! People respond so differently to someone who is truly listening. It’s really quite amazing.
It’s like giving someone a gift, and you feel like you’ve received one too.
Here’s that acronym Julian recommended. I suspect I’ve used it almost every day since hearing this!
- Ask Questions
If you want to review the nuances of using those for words, that explanation can be found at about 6 minutes into the video.
Give it a try a couple times today and see how it changes your intention and best of all, the way it changes the person you are listening to! People respond to being listened to in the most amazing ways. It can lead to moments that are so uplifting.
Have fun and learn things you never dreamed!
Stay open, curious and optimistic.
~ Dr. Lynda
Want to See Our EWC Favorite TED Talks?
We have a special page reserved for the ones we recommend as “Must See” TED Talks, and if you want to see the full list of all we have included in our articles, check out our TED Talk Category.
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