Most of us have had a great friendship disappear in what seemed like a flash. We often blame the other person, but could it be that we demanded something of them that they just couldn’t give? Here’s an insight that will stay with me for a long time!
On a recent drive into work, I decided to turn off the abysmal morning news on the radio and flipped to a channel that airs a program called Snap Judgment during my morning commute. Fortunately, I caught the very beginning of a story about friendship that drew me in and then left me thinking for the rest of the day.
Have you discovered Snap Judgment yet?
Not all the stories I hear on Snap Judgment are positive but I am almost always transformed, often blown away, by the insights that abound there.
Snap Judgement is a podcast, founded by Mark Ristich and Glynn Washington, that gives space and time to great stories from ordinary people. The stories – all true – are told with a unique kind of authenticity that Snap Judgment seems to have a knack for nurturing.
And I’ve got to say: with the current preoccupations of the news media, it’s really a much better way to start your day. Even when the topics challenge my sensitivities, there’s always an ah-ha moment lurking in the shadows.
Here’s a great example of the kind of thought-provoking stories you’ll hear:
Would you have forced that relationship to include an actual visit, where you “save the day” for your friend?
I’ll have to admit, I probably would have gone to see her. I would have felt like all the goodness had drained out of me, had I not gone to “help” my friend. I would have felt guilty if I’d been that close without visiting. But that way of thinking is all about me, isn’t it?
Where does the story lead your train of thought?
Think back to a relationship that went wrong. How often do we stop to consider what the other person needs when our needs seem so important? That story left me thinking of how often our relationships are flourishing only as long as everything is on our terms.
Her last few words rang in my ears:
As long as we never meet, she can be the person who helps me and not the person who needs help.
And as to the reasons for lost friendships?
Perhaps the best thing we can do to nurture valuable friendships is to always give the other person’s perspective a little more weight than our own. If two people are doing that there is always room in the middle for growth of all kinds.
I’m going to really work on seeing the world through the other person’s eyes. After listening if you find some Snap Judgment episodes that you love, send them to me!
Meanwhile, stay open, curious and hopeful!
~ Dr. Lynda
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- Burt-Wintonick, Mira, and Cristal Duhaime, prods. “Love At No Sight from CBC’s “Love Me” – Snap 722.” Snap Judgment. 2 Sept. 2016. Snap Judgment. Web. 15 Sept. 2016. <http://snapjudgment.org/love-no-sight-cbcs-love-me-snap-722>. ↩